Walking down the corridor of thought realized that time has always been on my side. Time sometimes is all we need, to find a reason. “I have been searching the edge of sanity to find myself.” No such luck. Sanity begins in the reflection of the mirror, there is nothing wrong with living. Life is meant to have scratches, bruises, maybe a little bit of blood, it is meant to have scars. What we learn from them truly defines who we are.
I can’t recall the last time a pillow looked so inviting. It was there just screaming my name, it was an invitation to dreaming. The TV blaring, my dreams were running towards me. Music serenading my indulgence while the horizon changed from my dreams to morning coffee of thoughts.
I wanted to fantasize about tomorrow! Tomorrow couldn’t get here fast enough. The sands of the hour glass showing the seconds of time, I can see the other side, just not ready to exit yet. I know where my heart is...
Suddenly the alarm is whaling, screaming, and my thoughts come rushing to me. People are talking around me and it seems they are oblivious. My head is spinning and desperately search the room wondering where I am. Coffee where are you?
There in the corner of the room sitting idle is a shadow of yesterday trying to escape the demons that hold us captured. We argue with ourselves as to why? Its amazing that people lecture about when you get to the gates of St. Peters you will know about your soul. While its a laughable comment, seriously, what’d you do? Die and come back to tell us there are these pearly gates waiting for my soul?
Not at all if my soul could escape from me, it would have bought a ticket to ride a long time ago. Instead of waiting for some magical pearly gates make peace with yourself. Find a reason to let your pride runaway from you and stare at the reflection in the mirror, what do you see?
A man, confounded to a world that has taught him to survive. To care for the wounds, to understand the bruises, to live through the scratches, and to walk through this ordinary world with a lit bit of blood finding a reason to exist in his own skin. We learn to survive not because of fight but because of reason.
So why not pack your bags? Why not catch a ride to the end of your mind? Life, it ticks away, second by second, and all we can do is see it for what it is. Meanwhile the world decides to psycho analyze the moment, I will be at the edge of insanity with a cup of coffee, a cigar, a good book understanding that life has not left my soul yet.
I spent the last year trying to understand people. Trying to understand what makes people act holy. Bible thumping is overrated if you do not believe in it. Why should I punish my heart for believing? I won’t say goodbye to those who seem fit to be self righteous, smile at them and scream without raising your voice. Life is truly funny.
If the price of my smile was living; then this time my friends my world will be one. Sure the sands of the hour glass continues pebble by pebble, but let me tell you so does my soul....one second at a time.
