I learned that this world is bigger than me...

Some days life rolls on and on others it sort of speeds by like a bullet to the head.  Who would have ever thought that almost a year ago a Human Resource Director would leave a file on a table for everyone to read?  A bullet to the gut and then you realize the value of a man.  

The only one who stands here with me is King Lear and he by all means has no reason other than to give.  He gave his heart, his soul, his life, for what?  The King of Fools he picked up his soul and became a melody to time and his own shadow.  

Every day we wake up with the hopes that today is the day life changes.  Sometimes we wait all our lives to discover how we have failed.  No one to blame but the looking glass.  “I have no one to blame but myself!”  Not enough fingers and toes for the amount of times this has been repeated by the truth of life.  Then that day arrives, the one, the one which starts with the sound of an alarm.  Good morning!

Found myself having dinner with my son, he is finding a reason to stand tall in this life, smiles with eyes full of hope.  Being Dad has been the hardest part of my life and being one without living in the footsteps of another has changed the way I breath and walk.  Never to live without regret, standing tall with the wrong and the good of my life allows me to stitch my scars together to be one.

Today the morning started off with my insanity to yesterday.  She is gracious, loving, and hopeful in finding her way through life.  One can only applaud such intricate strength.  A mother lives to feed her child the bosom of life, to protect them from the evils that were placed upon her journey.  It is called being a mother!  

A father is to define strength, to protect the children by teaching them to not fear life.  My father taught me to stay awake.  To live to work.  And live to work my life went, my father did not fail me.  He taught me resilience, he gave me reason.  While most of my life I argued that it was my mother who taught me empathy, all along it was my father.  My mother taught me how to extend my hand.  

So what was my valuable lesson, “this world is bigger than me...”  there are people who need that extra hand to live.  I am able to breath and find my own melody in this world.  While my life now is about working to live, there is no wrong or shame in living.  To do so with the infectious love of your friends and family is what this life is above all the most priceless journey of all.

I like a nice cup of coffee and a good cigar in the morning.  Its who I have become.  The feeling of Jazz in my life is to forget that a soul put a value on what my existence was.  Last night I had what one would hope to be my final dream of that file.  In my dream the file read as such, “100 pennies is still a Dollar, however 1 penny does not buy me my sense of life.  Neither a nickel, dime, or quarter, for my life is judged in the words to live by, “Love you Dad!”

While my scatter brain often works in the most dysfunctional ways, these words are for my son Andrew.  Your worth is within your heart.  Never let anyone put a value on who you are or where you came from.  Love is all around you.  Find it in your own heart.  Find it in your family.  Find it in your friends.  But more importantly always know that I will forever love you for being Andrew.