I learned that this world is bigger than me...

Some days life rolls on and on others it sort of speeds by like a bullet to the head.  Who would have ever thought that almost a year ago a Human Resource Director would leave a file on a table for everyone to read?  A bullet to the gut and then you realize the value of a man.  

The only one who stands here with me is King Lear and he by all means has no reason other than to give.  He gave his heart, his soul, his life, for what?  The King of Fools he picked up his soul and became a melody to time and his own shadow.  

Every day we wake up with the hopes that today is the day life changes.  Sometimes we wait all our lives to discover how we have failed.  No one to blame but the looking glass.  “I have no one to blame but myself!”  Not enough fingers and toes for the amount of times this has been repeated by the truth of life.  Then that day arrives, the one, the one which starts with the sound of an alarm.  Good morning!

Found myself having dinner with my son, he is finding a reason to stand tall in this life, smiles with eyes full of hope.  Being Dad has been the hardest part of my life and being one without living in the footsteps of another has changed the way I breath and walk.  Never to live without regret, standing tall with the wrong and the good of my life allows me to stitch my scars together to be one.

Today the morning started off with my insanity to yesterday.  She is gracious, loving, and hopeful in finding her way through life.  One can only applaud such intricate strength.  A mother lives to feed her child the bosom of life, to protect them from the evils that were placed upon her journey.  It is called being a mother!  

A father is to define strength, to protect the children by teaching them to not fear life.  My father taught me to stay awake.  To live to work.  And live to work my life went, my father did not fail me.  He taught me resilience, he gave me reason.  While most of my life I argued that it was my mother who taught me empathy, all along it was my father.  My mother taught me how to extend my hand.  

So what was my valuable lesson, “this world is bigger than me...”  there are people who need that extra hand to live.  I am able to breath and find my own melody in this world.  While my life now is about working to live, there is no wrong or shame in living.  To do so with the infectious love of your friends and family is what this life is above all the most priceless journey of all.

I like a nice cup of coffee and a good cigar in the morning.  Its who I have become.  The feeling of Jazz in my life is to forget that a soul put a value on what my existence was.  Last night I had what one would hope to be my final dream of that file.  In my dream the file read as such, “100 pennies is still a Dollar, however 1 penny does not buy me my sense of life.  Neither a nickel, dime, or quarter, for my life is judged in the words to live by, “Love you Dad!”

While my scatter brain often works in the most dysfunctional ways, these words are for my son Andrew.  Your worth is within your heart.  Never let anyone put a value on who you are or where you came from.  Love is all around you.  Find it in your own heart.  Find it in your family.  Find it in your friends.  But more importantly always know that I will forever love you for being Andrew.  

Mr. Alberico.

You take my breath away

A pretty bad writers block can make you go hmmm?  Even though the silence in this head has been not!  The letters and words just never seemed to have a flow.  Never one for catchy phrases or outward mobility to my thoughts, the words usually find form in my heart.  Lately the heart has been an inner voice threatening to burst from its seams.

I finally get to sit in my little terrace at Alberico Fine Wine and enjoy a cup of superman, a cigar, and Enrique Iglesias serenading the hustle and bustle of 10th and 495.  Cars running on empty, horns honking the ears off the sunrise.  The view from this private room, all mine.  

What makes today any different than yesterday?  A day older.  A day wiser.  Nah!  Today you take my breath away.  The music blends in with morning rays, and the serenity is beyond a description from this mind.  

My sense of pride with life has swelled to the point that blisters fill the heart with a wanton desire for the simple things.  Never will I long for your attention for the fight in me is to keep you sane.  When your heart aches it will be I who will reach to the sky and set straight the sun and the moon in there bitter argument for your attention.  

Today however, it is the moment of truth.  A split second from insanity, a minute of time, an hour of life, a day in my thoughts.  I love that which is the breath that escapes.  The mirror which makes me accountable.  So what does this all mean?  

In short, when I stare at you, memories wash over me much like the levy breaking.  From the time that those first words escaped my lips, to the moment after I walked off the baseball field, to the day that you stood next to me as the Doctor explained to you about my chances for another tomorrow.  The look on your face explained a love that only a Father could ever understand.

When you drove up and stood in your own quiet thoughts, it was the smile in my face of a son whose only wish was that of seeing yours.  Yes, my shinning moment.  Yes, the look of a man with callous hands from a hard days life, the weathered face of time, the soul of his father inside us both.  

“You can shave!  A haircut would also help!”  And just like that my cavities, the wrinkle of my time spread across my face.  Staring at this dream together it is in the here and now that life has come full circle, where I now understand why.

To you my father, Jose Aberico Ramos, thank you.

Ricardo “Ricky” Ramos  

Being Andy Pettitte

On June 15, 1972 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana a human being with truth was born.  Not one with a spine but with truth.  Andy Pettitte is most famously known as helping the New York Yankees in the post season, with 19 wins and more importantly 5 wins in the World Series.  This would easily qualify him as one of Marvel Comics new super hero.  

What makes Andy truly special is his life.  To many people stand on a podium and speak volumes about this and that, they preach a belief, or more importantly they speak about a righteousness that does not exist in an ounce of their bones.  This is what separates Andy from the rest of us.  

August 19, 2010 Roger Clemens gets indicted for perjury during Congressional hearings for the Mitchel Report on steroid use during his playing career.  To me this is humorous that he would be indicted for lying to what we all know are the truly professional liars, politicians.  Seriously, if a politician is moving his lips, chances are nothing coming out is the truth.  

We have become such a pompous society that we think we are superior from others.  “The corruption in Mexico is out of control.”  George W. Bush.  Seriously?  The difference between Mexico and United States is we just hide it a little better.  Over the last 30 years the price of oil in the United States has gone up twice, first under Father Bush and the next time under Jr. Bush.  This doesn’t make them guilty of any crime unless they happen to have financial gains from this.  

Now unless your head has been under the sand they are one of the largest oil families in the United States.  Does this make them guilty?  Or does this make them corrupt?  It can be spun to be beneficial.  The point is it is morally wrong that as the leaders of this country they would capitalize from an act they provoked.  Don’t get me started on Dick Chenney and Haliburton.

Irony is that it would be the Bush Family who would support whole heartedly Roger Clemens.  Did he lie?  I’m not going to go out on a plank or limb, but the answer is quite simple.  Yes!  Not because of the the trainer McNamee testimony but because of Andy Pettitte.  

This man who aspires to greatness in God and himself.  His friendship with Clemens is infamous.  They roomed together, families vacationed together, played golf together, and they were best friends.  Then Clemens expected Andy to fib.  To lie about what actually happened.  

These are life altering moments.  This is when a man can truly define the power of that word!  

I’m from a podunk community in South Texas that epitomizes small town America, where life is about watching the sun rise and the sun set.  In small towns you can’t run over the neighbors cat without it being front news in the local paper.  Least you realize the differences in opportunity.  

Not that long ago I took the time to reformulate my life; to make changes within myself to be a better person.  My days that are left in this world had to be about living to give someone a smile, so I changed.  This means that if I see wrong in life I have to speak up, I can no longer sit idle and allow people to be advantages of friends or strangers.

In my small little town there are people who are still trying to live their glory days through others.  My biggest gripe while clearly aimed at our School Board Members is a side note to the bigger problem.  Yes, we have people that once you give them a title they become power mongers.  The worst thing about this is we allow it to happen.  

Did we forget that the State saw the corruption and sent a monitor to teach us how to manage properly.  He has not been gone six months and the level of corruption is at an all time high.  I vote to eliminate the school board.  I vote that we allow the state to run our schools.  You ask why?

Simple.  I am about being fair.  I do not believe in righteousness.  I believe that if you are guilty you have to pay a penalty.  This past year has seen some incredible things occur with in the athletics department.  It has seen the schools achieve incredible heights.  The school board members would have you believe it was because of them.  I’m sorry guys.  Wake up.  

If you are having an affair its called, cheating!  If you interfere with the daily functions of a school because of your title to protect your personal interest.  Its called a conflict of interest.  If you feel your above the words of the people that voted you in, you will be ousted in the next election cycle.  

When the kids bond together to protest the decisions of a school board, we are not suppose to oppress them by sending all the administrators there to prevent them.  We are to praise them for seeing the wrong that you have gestated.  I am not Andy Pettitte by any stretch, but my children go to school here, my family works within the school district.  Yes, I care about what is going on.  Yes, I am going to make my voice heard.  

No I am not going to sit idol.  When asked if he ever saw his friend Roger Clemens do steroids Andy Pettitte’s answer was no.  When asked who introduced him to it and who claimed to be doing it, he also answered truthfully.  

The truth to this rant is such, “There are few Andy Pettitte’s in this world.  No one wakes up to be righteous.  However your voice is protected by law.  If you voice a concern, if you want to oppose the status quo, it is protected by law.  Yesterday oppression arrived in an ugly form, corruption.  Corruption by power hungry people that have lost sight of what truly matters.”  

Note:  This is not an article to promote one political party over the next.  This is about speaking the truth and injustice of what has transpired at Edcouch-Elsa.  This is about not being quiet anymore.  There is an old saying if the truth stings a little its probably because the man in the mirror is broken.  

Look Ma! No Hands!

This is an article I wrote for my mother last year for Mothers Day. In our family it became sort of a cool thing.  Mom read the article to everyone of her friends then those friends layed into their sons my friends.  So what started out as a tribute to my Mother became Rick's spiral into getting his friends pissed off at him.  

This is for all the Mothers today that have had a son like me.  One that drives you to the brink but you will always know his heart is in the right place.  Enjoy my tribute to my Mother.

John Mayer ventures to suggest that we dream with a broken heart.  He even also believes that you have to fall asleep with roses in your hand.  Can this guy just call his mother for guidance?  Yes indeed its that time of the year where we look to Ma.  We remember the first time that she kissed the boo boo or the time when she held you and told you time heals all wounds.  She meant well so make sure you buy her roses.

When Mother’s Day is upon us think of the following things, with out realizing your own mortality, this woman gave you life.  This woman suffered through the pain and agony of giving you your first breath.  This is also the woman whose soul will never judge you.  She is by far the only woman who will champion your life, right or wrong.

Its not a bad gig.  Mom.  A definition of what we all aspire but can never reach.  For instance my mother, I call her the “Tony Soprano” of the Day Care world.  Before you brilliant ones go out and call the state about this, it is meant as the highest form of flattery to my mother.  A woman whose highest level of education was the 9th grade.  She married and had four children, a boy and three girls, yes I have suffered all of my life with women.

Time never stood still for my mother, she just grew fashionably with it through the years.  She wanted to open a Day Care, I feel more out of the fact that she was all ready baby sitting all of her grandchildren while the parents went to work.  Than a desire, enter “Tony Soprano.”   “Why not make a little bit of money if I have to watch these kids?”

Then the shock of my adult life happened.  The woman who had not seen a text book in years found one to read instead of throwing it at me.  She studied and got her GED.  That was awesome.  She didn’t quit there, oh not this lady, College was next.  Years later, the woman has enough hours to not simply say she is a College student but also a sophomore add an accomplished Business Woman.

Yes this is my mother.  A lady who I don’t see as often as I should.  A woman who when I do visit, it will be an automatic conversation that starts with our typical, “And who are you?”  This is a woman who gave me my first breath.  This is a woman who a couple of years ago I asked to be my Valentine.  Yes, she called me, she explained to me her utter surprise when the flowers were delivered.  More importantly the words, “You made my day!”  No Mom, you made my life!

Now that I have explained the building up of my mother let me give you the secrets of the dark side.  Yes I am smiling and smirking, knowing full well the amount of grief that will be coming my way.  When I was 16 years of age, this genius decided to go well, drinking.  Shock!  Yeah I was a light weight even then, two beers and done.  To this day my sympathy to Oscar and Benny, wait not true, to Benny for walking me inside the house.  Oscar weenied out.

Benny was the responsible older friend who walked into the house or the boiling pot.  Inside he apologized to my mother and father for keeping me out so late.  They weren’t buying it but still at that age it showed the depth of Benny’s character.  He is a very good man.  Note to self take Benny drinking.

Back at the farm, Dad was happy I was safe and home, Mom on the other hand could smell a rat.  “Have you been drinking?”  Note to all of you, Mom’s never ask questions they all ready know the answer to.  “NO”  This was about five seconds before I ate it.  Lost my balance and well the rest as she said was history.  

Getting in trouble was not what sticks out the most from that moment, it was during the night.  She kept walking into my room to see if I was okay.  To make sure nothing bad happened to me.  The love of a mother.  In the morning when the daylight hit, she was no longer Mom, she was the warden there to punish the offender.  

Punishment came in the form of chores that well were worse than one could imagine.  My official duties of being a bus driver for my sisters began.  That in itself should have been considered corporal punishment but I learned a valuable lesson.  Its taken me my entire adult life to realize that it was in me from that day.  Be responsible.

Such a strong word.  Be responsible!  An open meaning to define at liberty.  An old tale, change your drawers in case if your in an accident.  My personal favorite, Dad teaches son to throw a baseball, teaches him how to stay off a bad pitch, how to get a jump on the pitcher to steal second.  He teaches him how to play baseball, what does the son do when the TV cameras are on him?  “Hi Ma.  Look no hands.  I love you!”  

To my mother who continues to be an inspiration.  Who defines my thoughts, my sincerity, and my obligatory heart to love.  This article is for your undying defense of my soul and heart.  I love you.  Happy Mothers Day.  Salut!

Can I have some of what he is drinking?

If in all of life’s ups and downs we resorted to the bottle then we would be a planet of inebriated souls.  I prefer to have a relevant more austere positive approach to life, so my thoughts tend to guide me in the following manner.  We are not a planet of drunks, quite the contrary we are a planet of humans who are just a sand pebble spec on the aliens that cruise the the great milky way map.  For those of you who are high, I am making a galactic reference and not one to your appetite from a drag on another form of excess.  

I really am going to just ramble here but oh well, life finds me in my backyard with a nice little glass of wine from Casanova di Nerri from Italy.  Its actually a pretty interesting wine.  It has great depth.  Fine balance between the tannins and the fruit.  It actually has achieved its peace within the bottle.  I on the other hand found my peace without thinking. 

Several days back I was on the dark side of the moon cursing the stars from far away universes trying to remember a simple password for a very important file.  I tried everything in my arsenal of weapons.  Every Van Halen album failed miserably.  Every birthdate, sports team, bottle of wine, ex, song, superhero, you name it I tried it unsuccessfully.  I was beyond miserable, I was drinking to remember.

Finally after utter and I do mean complete utter failure was ready to pack it in.  I was at “Fuck it!”  going to reboot and lose all of this information.  Then I was saved by a question, “Did you save it on your phone?”  Hello!  Genius I have never claimed, dumbass?  Absolutely.  Well now for the love of life it will never fail me, for the record my new password is, “DUMBASS”  in caps.  Just to scream at my stupidity.

During this priceless moment or rather delay of my time here on this planet, started thinking about what keeps us company?  Some simple answers, family, friends, sports, books, this idiotic blog, but ultimately the answer is in the mirror.  We keep ourselves company!  Some people fantasize about things that are beyond reason and some live with out reason.  At the end of the day, much like tonight my thoughts are always the same.  

Right before I walked inside the house, took a moment to stare at the sky and realized that my stars have always been aligned.  Realized that there is an alien from Omega Centauri looking at his stars to see if they are aligned and taking a sip from his sauce and quietly toasting his life.   

Much like my friend from Omega here is my open letter of thought or simply put what occupies the space between my ears.  “............................

Salut.

The color of my life...

Grabbed a cup of superman, found the appropriate cigar, sunglasses, flip flops on, walked outside to my sunrise.  Blue sky, clear of any clouds, a slight breeze, the jagged smile of last nights thoughts.  I wasn’t waiting on a flight, was searching for a warm embrace to time.  Staring at the sky it is obvious that there are reds, whites, purples, and an array of other rainbow colors associated with a sky.  What was this day going to be like?

Just last night was contemplating the signs of the times and I realized how much the warmth of an embrace can etch the fear of life in one.  Of course there is great joy when innocence is established.  Some people wrap their soul around you and one can feel it run through your soul much like the ivy crawls up the chapel walls.  Your heart fills with the blisters of love when this happens.  

Then of course there is the eruption of the gas main embrace, where your dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t.  If a person is cutting onions and tears are running down the face, is it because of the burn of the onion or the burn of life?  Can one live within the truth of time?  Honestly live within the piel that has been bestowed on them?  Okay maybe to harsh.  

Drink a glass of truth, albeit your truth!  Last night my truth was in a glass of single barrel jack, on the rocks, with a twist of lemon.  It spoke volumes to the way you miss someone when they are gone.  The sounds of the night was a symphony in A minor.  It was mesmerizing!  The night was driving me insanely crazy, acutely aware that your presence had faded from my thoughts in a surreal manner.

“Can I see the wine menu?”

Peace of mind is knowing that in a great bottle of wine I can cure the bruised and battered sketches of my life.  With each swirl, you attempt to find the strokes of life.  I can easily unwrap the words that have escaped my emotions.  “You know what?  I don’t know shit about wine but feel like drinking a good bottle of wine.  Impress me.”  The waiter looked at me as if there was a great conspiracy about to happen.

This child walked back and probably searched the wine cellar for something wondering or as I romantically would rather perceive cursing my ass out, he grabbed the first bottle that he could.  Was hoping he did so with out thought to every breath that I take.  Returning the child was now a boy, who dared to show me the bottle.  It made sense, since he was growing up in front of my arrogant ass.

He poured the glass and stared at me not for appreciation for what he had just chosen but for he was now a king amongst men.   “What do you think?”  The words were like a rainbow of colors, his blue was not within him.  His red was lost in thought walking back to the cellar.  The white of his soul was that he was going to pick the most expensive bottle for the arrogant asshole on table 3.  Purple would just signify the confidence of a King.  

It was his rainbow of thoughts that spread across my canvas.  “Why this bottle?” A wicked smile crossed his face.  You could tell that time had not a hair nor pin of a crinkle in his smile.  His confidence was dripping from those words, “Its money every time...Can’t go wrong unless your Rick Ramos.”

I smiled, and my blue sky this morning suddenly had an array of those colors.  The red from last nights was still painted in my heart.  My white was the glare of the right or wrong of time.  Purple was my love for life.  As for my rainbow, it was in a bottle of all things, Queen of Hearts Pinot Noir, irony has a new name.

So here I find myself 24/7 later editing words, changing the soul from a man who loves a clear blue sky but is okay if its cloudy with a storm on the horizon.  As for the wine, it had deep blue berry flavors with a hint of red burgundy color to it.  With the white spice of time, yet the enduring patience of a purple landscape.  The child became a boy who became a king amongst men.  

“So what do you think?”

“Not bad.  Good choice.  Tomorrow I’m going to Sherman Williams to buy the colors of my life.  As for Rick Ramos, don’t worry, he’s an asshole.”  My tab was 126.00 for a glass of thoughts and a bottle of love.  The tip was 100.00 for understanding what a Pinot Noir means to me.  His bruised soul looked at me, a smile crossed his soul, and asked, “What’s your name?”

Santé